If you're going to a 12-step meeting, do you have to talk? The short answer is no. Drug, Alcohol, and Mental Health Treatment If you've never attended group therapy or A, A. Meetings: You might not be sure about the rules or what you can say or do at the meeting. Depending on the amount of time you spend, you might feel compelled to share something of “value” or to make a good impression.
Instead, what you should focus on is getting the most out of meetings. So what do you say when you're in group therapy? Fortunately, those who have been to group therapy and A, A. Past meetings, as well as those that led them, had some basic rules that made attending the first meeting much easier. At FHE, we want you to feel comfortable when you share information about yourself with others and listen to what they have to say.
That's why we've put together this useful etiquette guide for group therapy and A, A. The most important thing to remember is that the group wants you to share your experiences honestly. Usually, you'll want to speak in the first person and focus on the revelations or difficulties you've had, as well as on your growth. A, A.
Certainly, you can share some aspects of your drinking years, but you should make sure to talk more about your transformation, aspirations, and goals. It's usually frowned upon to fall into the tone of “reliving the glory days”, you're in a rehabilitation center or meeting, the path that led you there is more important than that temporary euphoria. It's also important to use phrases with the letter “I”. People don't want to be told what to do.
It may sound like preaching if you try to tell others what “we” or “you” should do as recovering alcoholics. Continue with the “first-person” speech to focus on the benefits that fellowship has brought you. Your story will most likely contain elements that are a shared experience, but don't assume that. There are two types of A, A.
Meetings, open and closed, plus several different meeting formats. Open meetings allow anyone to attend and talk about their experiences in turn. Private meetings are reserved for A, A. Only members and people who want to stop drinking.
There may be question parts at these meetings to support newcomers. For group therapy, there are some basic rules that are usually applied by a therapist who leads the group. While AA meetings usually have a president or someone who makes the meeting follow their format, group therapy will always be mediated by a therapist. First, everything anyone says or does is confidential.
That means you don't have to answer any questions or participate in any activity that you're not happy with. Nor should you pressure others to participate. Violence, intimidation, or hazing are not allowed. Another important note is that in-group dating is often frowned upon.
However, if you're dating someone in the group or if you know people who are hanging out in the group, their personal lives and stories are off limits. Why? It could be embarrassing for them to talk about their intimate moments within the group and it could make it difficult for them to continue attending. Gossip is also frowned upon because secret grudges and gossip have the potential to be destructive. The rules dictate that you must speak freely with the person you have a problem with to address your concerns directly.
It's quite common to have little or nothing to say. In that case, you should listen to what others are saying in the group therapy session. Understand that it's important to hear others talk openly about their lives. When they talk about what they've been through, it's cathartic for them and for others.
Remember that it's usually not appropriate to discuss what's happening to them, unless the therapist tells you to, but you can listen to understand how to tell your own story. Can you share a similar story or tell your story in a similar way? This is intended to be a judgment-free scenario, so don't be afraid to talk. Keep in mind that this is not an opportunity to “get over” someone else's story. There's no glory in having a worse bass player than someone else.
No, and that's something you should be very aware of. The meeting is appropriate if you are concerned about talking. Sometimes, you may not be ready to talk about your past or your experiences. Instead, you should listen to what others have to say and support them and their goals.
If there comes a time when you feel like you can open up, they will do the same for you. If you choose not to talk, remember that listening is the most important thing. You should also avoid cross-talk because they can be offensive and embarrassing. It's also often against the rules.
It's when a person gives advice to other people who have already shared their stories. The individual speaks to them directly, instead of speaking to the group as a whole. Cross-talking can also include interrupting the person you're talking to or unexpectedly asking a question. Cross-talking is generally frowned upon.
If a person does not ask for the opinions of others, they should not be offered them. Here's an example of cross-talk in A, A. This is a conversation that can be had outside the group directly with Mary, but it's not appropriate to say it in front of the group. This view is not that you are “sharing your story” or your “struggles”, but simply how you would have “handled”.
If their story reminds you of something pertinent to share that you've experienced, that's okay. But keep in mind that you should not give the impression that you are trying to “overcome” their story. With crosslanguage, the individual speaks directly to Maria, which is usually discouraging. With the right answer, they talk to the group, which is permissible and helps to include everyone.
AA meetings provide a safe forum where members can share their experiences, provide and receive support, and find advice to manage triggers in a healthy and constructive way. Knowing what topics to avoid is just as important as knowing what to say during a meeting. One of the main rules to follow in all interactions during AA meetings is to remain and let others remain anonymous. That's why members only provide their names.
Depending on the size of your community, you might see someone you know at an AA meeting, whether it's a co-worker, an old friend or acquaintance, or a public figure. It's important not to draw attention to this connection during the meeting, especially until you have a chance to talk to them about how you and the person are comfortable relating to each other in that environment. Members also have a reasonable expectation of privacy and confidentiality during AA meetings. During the sessions, many people recount addiction-related experiences that were particularly painful, revealing, or even embarrassing.
Any sensitive topic that members discuss during a meeting is expected to remain within the bounds of the meeting room. It's also a good idea to consider the nature of an experience you want to share, especially if it caused harm to someone else. Sharing these stories can be therapeutic, but it can be distressing for listeners. A better option is to share sensitive or potentially worrisome information that could upset or embarrass other group members in an individual setting with a sponsor or leader.
Be careful when talking about triggers For many people in recovery, complaints against another person are common and may have even contributed to their addiction. Whether it's a parent, spouse, or close friend you hold a grudge against, talking about the relationship and exploring any grievances can be part of the journey to sobriety. However, this can quickly turn into a simple outburst of frustration. If you can keep the topic focused on how you manage triggers, talking about complaints can be constructive.
Otherwise, it's best to share this topic with a sponsor, mental health professional, or trusted friend. Avoid cross-talking at AA meetings, or talking directly to one person instead of addressing the group as a whole. Cross-talking in AA is generally not recommended. Unless the person specifically asks for advice or feedback, no one should address them directly in a group setting.
Avoid talking about politics or religion. A person's political positions and religious beliefs are deeply personal to them. An AA meeting is not the right place to compare and debate ideas and philosophies. The focus should be solely on controlling addiction and on obtaining and providing support to others who are on similar trips.
Contact FHE for support with substance abuse and mental health treatment Chris Foy is a content manager and webmaster at FHE Health with years of experience in the addiction treatment industry, read more Take a look at our state-of-the-art treatment center. The FHE Health team is committed to providing accurate information that meets the highest drafting standards. If one of our items is marked with the “Reviewed for Accuracy and Expertise” badge, it indicates that one or more members of our team of doctors and clinicians have reviewed the item in more detail to ensure its accuracy. This is part of our ongoing commitment to ensure that FHE Health is trusted as a leader in mental health and addiction care.
One way to ensure that you don't get in trouble at your first AA meeting is to show up early and talk to the chair of the committee that directs it. The meeting can begin with a reading of the AA literature, followed by a group discussion in which the members share information with the group. .
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